Dear God its me Danielle. A breast cancer story.

 Balfon Yoga- Increase self esteem

Are you there God it’s me Dani. Mom gave me a copy of the new Judy Blume Book, Are you there “God it’s me Margaret” and I just finished reading it.   What a really cool book. I was wondering God if you could help me out like you helped out Margaret.

Margaret really wanted her period to happen I don’t really care about that, but I’d really like to grow some boobs. Laurie and Sylvie have them, and it looks like Bev and Tiffany are starting to grow some too I don’t have anything. All I have is that stupid picture of me that we took by the Eiffel Tower where I’m wearing a bikini. It’s not a real bikini my face is shoved into hole with a painting of some cartoon figure that’s got a way more developed body than mine. Bruno says he would kiss me if I had boobs that big. Nobody wants to kiss me now.

Please God? Hail Mary full of Grace

Hi God it’s me Dani. I’ve been praying for boobs now forever! Every night for at least two months! And I have grown nothing. Not even a pimple.

Please God? Hail Mary full of Grace

Are you there God it’s me Dani I start boarding school next week and I still don’t have boobs and in setting me up Mom bought me a bunch of bras. She won’t be around while I’m at school. Lucky Her! Mom will be back home. So she bought me “One of every kind!” Kind of a waste of money I think.

Please God? Hail Mary, full of Grace.

Are you there God it’s me Danielle. I’m using my real name now because I am tired of the other girls calling me “Danny Boy” I thought I might be getting fat a because now I’m eating as many chips I want to for the first time in my whole life. (Mom is not around to nag). Chips are not making my face look any better. “It looks like a flower garden full of white and red roses.” As Mom would say. However I think I might be getting boobs!

Can you make them this big please God? Hail Mary, full of Grace.

Are you there God it’s me Danielle thank you for the boobs it’s totally cool going back home for Christmas and finally having boobs! I’ve packed “One of every kind of bra” just for the hell of it!!

Thanks God! Hail Mary, full of Grace.

Are you there God it’s me Danielle I need some help with these boobs. Please help me get them to work. I know it’s been at least 15 years since you and I talked about them. Thanks for them, they worked great! I filled out my prom and wedding dress with them and my darling husband loves them. But right now I’m sitting here with this squalling creature trying to stuff my nipple into its mouth. They are huge and they hurt and this tiny creature can’t seem to get its little mouth onto something that’s the size of its head.

Can you help please God? Hail Mary full of Grace

 

Are you there God it’s me Danielle I’ve had a million people handling these boobs and no success going to the breast-feeding clinic please this baby is not gaining weight as he should. Can you help please God? Hail Mary full of Grace

Are you there God it’s me Dani. I know we’ve spoken about other topics quite a bit in the past for the past few years. But I’m asking another favor about my boobs. I know a bitched and whined complained and said they were too big and too small or leaky or saggy but right now I just like to be able to test negative and be able to keep them.

Please God? Hail Mary full of Grace

Balfon Yoga- Increase self esteem

Give yourself credit….

winter yoga walk

Balfon Yoga- Increase self esteem

For those of you who might not be aware I spent my formative years growing up in Africa, and although I’ve been living in Canada for almost 30 years, winter always catches me by surprise.  I know it’s coming I change my wardrobe, get my house ready, purchase updated protective gear for my kids, celebrate Christmas and then winter comes.  AGAIN!!! I KNOW!!!

It’s CRAZY that I’m surprised every time!! I’m surprised by all the challenges that living with such cold weather brings; surprised by the physical effects, by the emotional effects. I’m surprised every year!

Then I realized something; sometimes  it can be this way with feelings.  You may find yourself in a difficult situation. You may think you’re ready and then it happens and all those feelings and everything else comes back.  AGAIN???  Surprise!!!  You thought you had prepared and here you are AGAIN.

You know what? It’s OK; you are allowed to have those feelings. Because like me and winter, you get to choose how to deal with them.  Sometimes all it takes is a change of perspective.

I go for Winter Yoga Walks. I bundle up and look for things that make me happy and I give myself credit for getting out of the house and coming up with the concept of a Winter Yoga Walk. Then instead of curling up into a ball; I give myself credit for going outside.

I start giving self-credit for every darn thing that it takes for me to handle winter. You know what?  When I give credit for every little accomplishment that I have made; winter can be tolerable. With a change of perspective so can your situation. You are much stronger than you may feel at times. Give yourself credit.

 

Love Danielle

Guilt free chocolate eating… a Valentines Yoga Meditation…

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If you know me at all you know that I am not about depriving oneself of anything.  I know for some who have embraced a different path however this time of year may be difficult; what with the items in the picture above being presented in abundance.  I offer this suggestion on how to enjoy this treat at this time of year with the knowledge that you are doing a good thing.

 Mindful Eating.

This mindful eating exercise may be especially pleasing to some because it involves chocolate.  If you have food issues there’s no need to fear; this exercise is waistline friendly as we only need one or two pieces of chocolate, or at best three.

In order to complete this exercise you will need one or two squares of chocolate, alternatively a couple of chocolates or a small chocolate bar cut in half.  It’s Valentines weekend so I imagine that you may be able to find some quite easily.

Step one:

Examine the  chocolate be aware of the packaging and the smell that comes through the paper. 

Feel the anticipation; open the bar or box and watch how the wrapper comes away, how it crinkles and crackles; then reveals the chocolate within.  Notice how the chocolate looks, observe the texture, the aroma, any imperfections made in its manufacture.

Break up a square and breathe in the aroma. Look at it carefully, observe the sheen, the decoration on it, the way it has broken off from the bar.  You don’t have to stare at it just look at it for what it is.  How does it feel in your hand, smell it again; the sweetness

Take a bite or place the square in your mouth.  Feel the sensation as your tongue savors the flavor of it. What can you taste?  What is the texture like rolling around in your mouth?  Pay close attention to the changing texture and taste.  Notice how it starts to change from what was once a solid.  Can you focus on all the characteristics until the chocolate has been eaten and all that remains is the lingering aftertaste?  Did you enjoy it? Can you feel the flavor that’s left in your mouth?

Step two-the comparison step

Take the second piece of chocolate but eat it how you normally would.  Which for most of us means to pop it in your mouth give it a couple of chews and then gulp.  Did you experience any difference?  Did it taste the same; worse or better?

Which one was better the first time or the second?

I’m willing to bet all my Valentine chocolate that the first experience was much more pleasurable and satisfying! You may have even been content with just the one taste. All your wants or cravings for chocolate may have been satisfied.

After number two you most likely felt like doing number one over again.  Its ok you can it’s Valentines after all.

Love yourself.

XOXOX Danielle

Are you a crook??

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If I was to ask you: “What would you steal? “Chances are you would likely answer “Nothing, not me!” I am no thief.”

This question may prompt one to think about Robert Nixon or robbing a bank or shoplifting. Eating a grape from the super market or not being honest when you get the incorrect change back in your favor.

But stealing can be more than that.  We steal from others unconsciously all of the time.  It may be not material goods but we are all guilty of it.

The green eyed monster can strike in many forms.  We can experience jealousy or envy of another’s success. This is a form of energetic stealing.  By not being supportive we are taking away from their success which steals from our own sense of self-esteem and self-worth.

Last year at the start of 2014 my three boys and I jumped in frozen Lake Ontario as part of the Polar Bear Challenge. It was a baptism of sorts. As a family we had a terrible 2013, my husband and I had almost lost one of our children.  It was not a good year and I vowed to change everything.  What better way than by doing something so crazy and silly and brave. As well as bonding with my boys at the same time with Daddy filming and looking on.  We were so happy and proud of ourselves.

We had great big smiles on our faces and wanted to share the experience with one of our close family members.  “Hey listen and look at what we did!” as we showed them the video.  They looked at us with a blank face, combined with an eye roll and responded: “Try doing it if you are not prepared to. That would be really something.”

Wow!  We were crushed. Our joy and excitement had just been robbed from us.  Stolen right out of the air we were breathing, it felt awful.

Consider your response the next time someone shares good news with you.  Can you genuinely be excited and happy for them, or do you feel the need to “one up” or diminish them?

The more you celebrate the success of others, the more success will flow your way. This I can attest to.

Resolve to Let Go

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Balfon Yoga- Increase self esteem

 

Most of us become quite reflective at this time of year – and for me this year is no exception.

As the final hours of 2014 start winding down, I have found a different approach to the yearly tradition of writing down my goals and resolutions that I decided to try last year is making this time of looking back more of a pleasant experience.  Back in 2013 I suggested the following:  Let’s embrace the idea of self love, and by doing this we will only feed our body and mind with the best. Making these my resolutions…

  •   I will give up limiting beliefs, relationships and habits, even if doing so leaves me naked or vulnerable.
  •   I will ask for help,even if doing so makes me feel or look weak.
  •   I will dig to find out more about who I am, even if I don’t like what I find at first.
  •   I will embrace my true self, even if it’s hard.
  •   I will speak up and stand up for causes and beliefs that are important to me, even if I offend.
  •   I will pursue my dreams with passion and daring, even if I have to sacrifice personal safety or comfort.
  •   I will take risks in business and in life, even if I’m unsure and don’t have all the information.

AND I DID.  This year I accomplished more than I ever thought possible for myself, my family and my clients.

 So you won’t see me be scribbling the usual “This year, I will do this/that” My focus won’t be on how I can change this or how I won’t eat that.  It won’t be on staying more organized or achieving new goals.   

This year, my focus will be on letting go.

What will I be letting go of?  Lot’s, I’m talking truckloads of “stuff”.

Emotional stuff, physical stuff,  my ego stuff, control stuff and all the stuff that isn’t real but hops on our back and weighs us down (like the stories we make up about how scary life will be if we let go of all this stuff!)

  • I will let go and attain a delicious freedom that can propel me into a world of adventure and magic.
  • I will let go and, discover the wonder and clarity that come with living a simplified life.
  • I will let go, and make space for shiny new opportunities that make my heart glow.

By letting go, I am telling the Universe: I AM NOT AFRAID….

And I am pretty sure the universe will answer back…“Okay Friend, it’s about time.  Let’s live your life now!”

I am letting go.  How about you?

What are you willing to let go of in 2015?

Can you have the courage to know that letting go makes you stronger than holding on?

 

“True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.” C.S. Lewis

Single Mother and Son Praying

Balfon Yoga- Increase self esteem

I don’t know about you but I  have found that I instinctively avoid things that humble me. Things that I know that I am not good at or will look silly doing.  I just really don’t want to do or try.

Like running, I’m top heavy (big chested) so I really don’t like running. Well that’s not true. I love watching people run, or anything run for that matter horses, dogs, bugs when they are running out of my sight, my cat, my kids (I know my kids are people, but they run around me a lot!!!) just don’t ask me to run… I am likely to fall on my face.I don’t like being humbled by my own body. Not a good thing for a Yoga Teacher, there is always room for growth.

Accepting my bodies limitations  is different from being actually humbled.  Like many things, humility can be taught one step at a time. Here are a some Non Bendy Yoga things that I try to do to become more adept at being humble.

-Admit when I mess up. No one likes to accept their own mistakes, but doing so builds character and sets a good example for others. I willingly try to admit to the little mistakes with minor consequences and most of the big ones too. Especially with my kids, when I say to them your right I did forget to sign the permission slip or another one of my many parenting faux-pas. They and I know that being a Yoga Mamma does not mean that Mamma is all Om or Namaste.  This I hope will help to prepare all of us for the big mess-ups, which do inevitably happen.

-Learn from those around me, there will always be people who are better than us in certain ways.  (Runners) Don’t envy or resent them, I try learn from them.

-Help others. The best way to become humble is by being humbled. By serving or teaching others, we send the message that their needs are more important than our own.

I suggest that if you wish to make lasting change, slowly add humble actions into your everyday life. The best way to make permanent change is to make humble behavior a habit.

www.balafonyoga.com

 

 

Officer I did Nothing!!!

Are you feeling guilty about stuff that is not yours to feel guilty about??

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Balfon Yoga- Increase self esteem

This past weekend my son had a hockey tournament in another town.  As we were rushing out the door I got a heads up from one of the other  Hockey Moms who had spotted a speed trap and let me know about it.  Sure enough just where I would have pressed a little harder on the gas there it was.

Once I got to the rink I thanked the proactive parent and then immediately felt guilty for not passing the word along.  Another parent could really have benefited from me making a call.  They got a big speeding ticket and lost some points. Both things they can’t afford. But I did not call ( I actually did not have their number…well I did but  looking up that number and everyone else’s number and calling  would have made me late,) So they got a ticket for driving too fast and breaking the law and I felt lousy!!!

For some reason I felt that the speeding ticket that they got was my fault!!!

Have you ever found yourself caught up in the drama of others? Then wound up feeling resentful and drained from all the energy you needlessly used?

I decided it was time to practice some Non BendyYoga and take full responsibility for what I had done. Nothing!!! I had done nothing . Nothing wrong, nothing to feel ashamed about…Nothing!!! It was my job to disconnect from the burden that I had chosen to carry.  

Knowing what we are and are not responsible for in our lives creates a unique type of freedom. Here are some examples were you may be taking on a burden that’s not yours.

You are NOT responsible for colleagues who cause a toxic work environment.

You ARE responsible for coming up with a plan on how you are going to work in it, or find something new. 

You are NOT responsible for your sisters’ divorce or the demise of any relationship.

You ARE responsible for what you do in your own relationships.

You are NOT responsible for your child declining their higher education and as a result ruining their perceived future.

You ARE responsible for your own education and future.

You are NOT responsible for your brother going bankrupt.

You ARE responsible for your own financial situation.

You are NOT responsible for the happiness and joy of others.

You ARE responsible for creating your own happiness.   

Letting go removes many of the energetic and karmic responsibility we choose to carry for others. When we refrain from allowing others to step their place of responsibility and accountability we steal their opportunity for personal growth and spiritual, development.

With the world moving at such a fast pace, and other peoples life situations constantly surrounding us it’s easy to get pulled into the big and little burdens of others, while turning a blind eye on our own struggles.

Know when to stand up and be accountable.  Know to do nothing.

Do you take on the burdens of others?  If so are you able to let go?? Lets Talk…

Danielle Intuitive Life/Yoga Coach

 

Gratitude and a Change in Attitude.

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Balfon Yoga- Increase self esteem

It’s American Thanksgiving  and that got me thinking about  gratitude, I came to the realization that it is very easy for me to be grateful for all of the wonderful things in my life that have been going great … But what about those things that are not going so good? How can we expand our gratitude to those wonderful lessons that can teach us so much?

This past weekend I found myself getting angrier and angrier at an individual who had dropped a proverbial hot potato into my lap.  Now this person and I have quite a history of one being on the end of helping and one receiving, in the vast majority of cases I have felt that I am the one coming to the  rescue and I admit after doing so for many years I have grown a rather big chip on my shoulder.  As I was busy dealing with the consequences of some one else’s actions and feeling resentful,..   Fate decided to teach me a lesson…

I had the  Tom Waits song “Come on up to the  House” playing in the car as I drove and the line…“Get down off the cross we could use the wood.”  interrupted my venting session…

I just had to laugh as I realized that perhaps I needed an attitude adjustment.  I had climbed up onto my self created cross and was quite content in seeing myself as a victim.. It was time to look at the situation differently… This person is going  to act the way they always have… And I will most likely initially feel dumped on.

However if I am fortunate I will have many years of these type of situations for if the world is good we will continue on this path  thankful knowing how each one of us is going to act during difficult times. Grateful that this relationship is constant and never changing…

I’d love to hear from you … Have you had a moment or a  situation that made it difficult for you to have gratitude for them?  Or not… What about those?

 

Fall teaches a lesson in Change

Balfon Yoga- Increase self esteem

rake and autumn leaves

When your roots are most firm, your branches steady in the winds, when you are the most prepared that’s when everything changes.

Believe me, it’s true.

As I watch the leaf pile raked up yesterday blow back across the lawn this morning it is again apparent no matter how much you prepare something unanticipated will happen.

You wake up, you know, the ritual, the players, the script, what the backdrop is, it is the same every single day. Partner,  kids, moods, songs, food. If it does not go as planned you may get grumpy, (someone used the last of the milk) it sets the tone for your day, or does it???

It can be changed in an instant, a word or gesture, a call. The world has changed, you have changed, life is different and so are you, we may be resistant to change but it is a constant, which can be counted upon.
It’s good to have a constant even if it is change.

I guess this time I will put the hockey net over my leaf pile…That will hold them until the Kids play Ball Hockey.

 

Have you noticed any big changes this  Fall Season ????

 

Let us help you embrace change in your life!  Call today for a consultation.

What is Yoga Life Coaching?

 

 Balafon Yoga Life Coaching works as personal advocate to help you decide what it is you want to achieve in your life.  

It starts as a purposeful, powerful conversation  where I will listen to you tell me all about you and what your dreams, hopes, and desires really are.  Together we will get a clear perception of what that means for you and by the end of the conversation we will have developed action steps to get you where you want to be in your life.

 Danielle Ingram is a licensed yoga teacher at her practice, Balafon Yoga, in Burlington Ontario.  

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